Chapter 31: Break it Down (Part 4) - My K-Pop Experience

STALKING BREAKDOWN

3. Dreams

I love to have a good sleep. So, does everybody.

But

I had many dreams.

And far too many were about these “Pied Pipers”.

I thought:

"Should I install an air con in my room? Or, could it be that the things which couldn’t be said IRL had to be said in dreams?! I can’t be asked to go somewhere in person but in dreams?!?"

Bruh no.

Witchcraft rules in the entertainment industry...

Malfoys everywhere in KPOP-World...

I kept excusing everything saying, “God wants me to talk to "that person", so I have to keep my mouth shut for His will to be done”.

I could not take it anymore. That was too much.

So, in 2019 I blocked myself out from the forum never to talk to "that" person again. Then, during the night I had a dream:

I was hiding behind the pillars of a big hall (perhaps the ground floor of a hotel). I was watching “that person” leaving their hotel. A young man behind me told me to go and I replied: “No, I can’t”. Then, a loud voice from above spoke “I wanted you to speak to XXX” and I woke up. Oh, how I wept and hated God for ignoring what I had been through.

“I have failed God”.

Life went downhill from that point. Many other things happened that I may or may not share... Things that made me hate life, God and “that person” with a hatred fuelled by hell itself.

I am amazed to still be here and to be able to re-learn to pray and to trust myself in His loving arms.

The great illusion, My KPOP Experience, Not a Fanfic

~ My K-Pop Experience: How My Experience Shaped My Personal Journey as a Christian (#31.4) ~